The Power of Example: Conduct and Speech

The Power of Conduct:

This morning, as I read my daily devotion, I was reminded of my actions, my love, and my speech. I was also reminded of how I steward my mind, body, and faith. As Paul urged Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:12 came to life. It states,

 “Let no one despise your youth, but set an example for the believers in speech. Show this example in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.”

After finishing my devotion, I picked up my Bible and read the verse again. And in doing so, the Holy Spirit had recalled moments to me—especially one from this past Friday. My brother and I work for the same company, though at different stores. I deliver car parts, and he was recently transferred to the store I work out of. As his older sister, I took it upon myself to prepare lunches and breakfast shakes for him. I didn’t give much thought to how this might be perceived I was simply caring for him.

Friday morning arrived, and he stepped in to run a delivery route we needed covered. I told him what his lunch was and what mine was. Later that day, I returned from my route—last to arrive—and walked in ready to eat. I found my brother eating both his lunch and mine.

Needless to say, I was angry. I was seeing red. I felt disrespected. Hurt, even. I unintentionally fasted that day. Fuming, I turned my attention to a side business that needed care, but my emotions spilled over. I ended up taking my frustration out on the representative I spoke with over the phone. This person had absolutely nothing to do with the situation.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen. They should be slow to speak and slow to become angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” — James 1:19–20 (NIV)

But what stung more than the lunch was what followed: silence. He ignored me the rest of the day. No apology. No acknowledgment. And that’s what pierced deeper. This wasn’t just about food—it was about a pattern. A behavior that, as a believer himself, he ought to be accountable for. I hold myself to a standard rooted in Christ. I expect that same standard from those who walk in faith beside me. Especially family.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17 (NIV

I can’t change what happened. I can’t change what he does. I have no control over him—nor do I want that. I can only control what I do, how I perceive things, and how I respond.

From a worldly perspective, my reaction felt justified. But in terms of Christ Jesus, I fell short. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about acknowledging when we’ve missed the mark. It’s not about punishing those who wrong us—it’s about loving them enough to give them to Jesus. We show grace because we are shown grace—daily, undeserved, and abundant.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith. This is not from yourselves; it is the gift of God. It is not by works, so that no one can boast.” — Ephesians 2:8–9 (NIV

I take responsibility for my reaction and behavior. I repent. I forgive. And I set healthy boundaries—not out of pride, but out of wisdom.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

We create situations that invite expectations. When we then face disrespect, it’s easy to say “I told you so.” We might blame ourselves for setting the stage. We tend to blame ourselves—and be blamed by others.

But where does accountability come into play? Is the other person excused from their behavior? No, absolutely not.

As a Christian and follower of Jesus Christ, I must respond appropriately—not selfishly, not with self-righteousness, but with grace.

“So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.” — Romans 14:12 “For each one should carry their own load.” — Galatians 6:5

These verses remind us of an important truth. We may feel responsible for the situation. However, each person is accountable for their own actions before God.

“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” — James 4:17

Even when wronged, we are called to respond rightly—not because it’s easy, but because it’s holy.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13 “So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” — Luke 17:3

Grace doesn’t erase accountability—it elevates it. It calls us to respond with wisdom, humility, and love.

Even now, as I write this, the sting still lingers. Not because I haven’t forgiven, but because the wound reminds me of the lesson. I laugh—not at the pain, but at the sin in it. At how the enemy tried to use offense to harden my heart. But God, in His mercy, used it to soften me instead.

That laughter isn’t mockery—it’s victory. It’s the sound of chains breaking. It’s the moment I realized that surrendering the situation to Jesus wasn’t weakness—it was warfare. I didn’t lose anything by letting go. I gained peace, clarity, and a deeper understanding of grace.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood. We wrestle against principalities, powers, and the rulers of the darkness of this world. We also wrestle against spiritual wickedness in high places.” — Ephesians 6:12 (KJV) 

It’s a shaky victory. One I haven’t fully released. I’ve surrendered the situation to Jesus in word and prayer—but the sting still whispers. Forgetting is the hardest part. Actions may fade, but words?“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3 (NIV) They echo. They linger in the quiet moments and replay in the stillness. “The God of all grace called you to his eternal glory in Christ. After you have suffered a little while, he will himself restore you. He will make you strong, firm and steadfast.” — 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV)

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means remembering differently. Not with bitterness, but with grace. Not with shame, but with wisdom. The enemy wants me to rehearse the pain. But Jesus invites me to redeem it.

So I laugh— Not because it doesn’t hurt, but because the sin didn’t win.

I’m still standing. Still surrendering. Still choosing grace over retaliation.

That’s the power of example: Not a perfect finish, but a faithful fight.

This is 1 Timothy 4:12—alive and active today. Tension surrendered. The grace and the healing.

The Conduct of Speech: The Power We Carry

As shared in an earlier blog, words hold the power to destroy or to build—to bring life or death. Speech is one of the most potent tools we have as human beings. It’s not limited to what we say aloud. It’s expressed through body language, revealed through silence, and even carried in the gaze of our eyes. If we’re not attentive to these forms within ourselves, we risk sending the wrong energy, leading to misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

Speech, in any form, can open the door to negative feedback if not rooted in awareness and grace. That’s why it’s vital to focus on how we speak—not just what others say to us. Whether we’re speaking to someone we love, a colleague, or even a stranger, our words reflect our spiritual posture. It’s not about etiquette—it’s about the conduct of our speech and the heart behind it.

If you’ve read the Bible, consider how Jesus spoke to people. The tone He used. The way He moved with His words. His voice carried into the hearts of many. Let’s look briefly at the Sermon on the Mount. In the 1st century, life was shaped by burdens we can hardly fathom today. Jewish leaders and authorities had created systems that snuffed out the spirit of the people. Rules and regulations—then and now—can drive people away from our Heavenly Father. They lead them into the arms of the prince of this world.

But when the people gathered around Jesus, He offered a breath of fresh air. Cool water that brought life from within. He invited them in. He was warm and loving—just as He is today. To many, Jesus might seem distant or even dead. But to those who are spiritually awakened, Jesus is alive. And He’s coming back. His first arrival was like a lamb. His second will be like a lion—a King.

It’s that first arrival I’m speaking of. His speech wasn’t dressed up. It was raw and filled with life. Just like John the Baptist. Just like the Apostles and Paul. They were filled with the Spirit of God. And so are we—those who have accepted Jesus, believe in Him, and are baptized.

Speech in any form carries such power, yet it’s often the least of anyone’s concerns. When we walk down the street and see a homeless person, we rarely offer a warm hello. Instead, we cast glances of disgust or disdain. Then we whisper among ourselves. If someone is more attractive than we are, we gossip. We stir drama. And we’re quick to deny it.

But Scripture reminds us:

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” — 1 Samuel 16:7

“Stop judging by mere appearances but instead judge correctly.” — John 7:24
All of this is speech.

It isn’t just words—it’s behavior. It’s demeanor. It’s facial expressions. It’s thoughts. And if we’re not careful, it becomes a reflection of the very things we claim to stand against.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” — Proverbs 18:21

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.” — Ephesians 4:29

Growing up partially deaf, I grew accustomed to feeling vibration. I learned to sense how someone was speaking to me—not just through words, but through tone. Today, tone is everything. It sets the stage for the kind of conversation that will be had.

I also learned to read body language. If someone is in a state of disdain, their body will show it. If they’re angry, their posture speaks loudly. If they’re joyful, their presence radiates it. Speech isn’t just verbal—it’s physical, emotional, and spiritual.

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” — Colossians 4:6

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” — Proverbs 15:1
Tone and body language are extensions of the heart. And Scripture reminds us that what flows from the heart shapes everything we say and do.

“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” — Luke 6:45

To many of you, this may seem irrelevant. How is this connected to faith? It’s deeply connected—because our actions speak louder than our words, and our children are always watching.

If our speech—through tone, body language, and facial expressions—is disdainful or disrespectful, our children will notice. They will begin to adopt these negative behaviors too. This is something I’m learning every day with my kids. I’m helping them understand the difference between healthy and harmful communication. That what most call an “RBF” (resting bitter face) is more than just a look—it’s a form of speech. It speaks volumes without saying a word.

“Start children off on the right path. They should go in the right direction early. When they are old, they will not turn away from it.” — Proverbs 22:6 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love.” — Ephesians 5:1–2

We are called to be examples—not just in what we say. We must show it in how we live, how we respond, and how we carry ourselves. Our children don’t just hear us—they feel us. They mirror us.

Bringing this conduct into modern times, we need only look at our world leaders. History is filled with political and spiritual figures whose speech brought terror, peace, unity, and revolution. Even political parties wield speech as a tool to sway nations. It’s a powerful force—capable of building bridges or burning them.

Adolf Hitler used speech to spread propaganda rooted in white supremacist ideology, blaming Jewish people for Germany’s decline. His rhetoric fueled the Holocaust, leading to the extermination of over 6 million Jews across Europe.

Ronald Reagan, in contrast, used speech to inspire hope and freedom. On June 12, 1987, he stood at the Brandenburg Gate and boldly declared, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”—a moment that helped catalyze the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War.

Martin Luther, in 1517, nailed his 95 Theses to the church door in Wittenberg. He challenged the corruption of the Catholic Church. His speech at the Diet of Worms in 1521 was pivotal. He declared, “Here I stand, I can do no other.” This speech ignited the Protestant Reformation. It forever changed the spiritual landscape of Europe.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., on August 28, 1963, stood before 250,000 people at the Lincoln Memorial and declared, “I have a dream.” His words became the anthem of the Civil Rights Movement. They helped to usher in the Civil Rights Act of 1964. This marked a new era of racial justice.

Each of these figures used speech not just to communicate—but to transform. Their tone, conviction, and clarity moved hearts, shaped nations, and altered the course of history.

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” — Proverbs 12:18

So, my fellow readers, speech is a powerful tool that we wield daily. And if left unchecked—unfiltered—we create situations that never needed to be created.

If we’re solely focused on our self-righteous behavior, we end up fostering selfish ambitions. This doesn’t build—it breaks. It doesn’t heal—it harms.

We create a pool of death and destruction, rather than life and construction.

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” — James 3:16

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” — Proverbs 12:18

So, let us choose life. Let us not judge based on appearances. Let us choose love over condemnation. Let us filter and bridle our tongues, opting for wisdom rather than pride. Let us take a pause in our own lives and reflect on what we’ve said and done.

Psalm 1:1–6 (NIV) Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked. They do not stand in the way that sinners take. They do not sit in the company of mockers. Their delight is in the law of the Lord. They meditate on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water. It yields its fruit in season. Its leaf does not wither. Whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.

Because every word we speak has the power to either build or break. Every action we take either reflects Christ or distracts from Him.

Let us be intentional. Let us be humble. Let us be examples.

A whisper can heal, a word can ignite, A sentence can shatter, or bathe us in light. We wield this tool daily, both gentle and bold, Yet forget its great power, its stories untold.

Unchecked, it stirs storms that never belonged, Unfiltered, it builds what’s bitter and wrong. When pride takes the mic and love takes the fall, We echo destruction, not mercy’s call.

Let us not judge by the surface we see, But speak with a heart that longs to be free. Let wisdom be bridal, let silence be grace, Let truth be the mirror we’re willing to face.

Choose life in your language, choose love in your tone, Let Christ be the compass when you’re all alone. Reflect on what’s worthy. Then release what’s true. The power of speech begins first in you.

Stay Tuned: Purity and Faith
We’ve explored the power of speech— Now let’s journey deeper still. Into the quiet places of the heart, Where purity and faith begin to fill.

Stay tuned for reflections that cleanse, Truths that anchor, and grace that restores. Because when faith is refined, Purity opens heaven’s doors.